My life mostly consists of school...work...and the occasional afternoon with my mother or boyfriend. To be more specific, my life is mostly lived in education building at my small private college...and in the clinic where I work. When you step into the campus of my college it is as if you are stepping into another century. I am not referencing the building where I spend most of my time; which is outfitted with an air conditioning unit I am fairly certain predates the dinosaurs...but I am more referencing the "feel" of the campus. It is a well-kept, clean cut, BEAUTIFUL campus with luscious green lawns and an air of calm serenity. Ninety-nine percent of my waking hours are spent with highly educated, and extremely empathetic individuals. Sure...there are the few students who have no business within a ten mile radius of children...but for the most part, the people I am surrounded by are AMAZING human beings.

Besides school and work, I spend the rest of my time with my mother and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a high school teacher in a nearby town, and my mother is one of the most intelligent people I know.

Rarely do I venture out into the "real" world. Now that summer is here and I am not going to be taking any classes, I have more free time. This free time has led me out into a world I am completely unprepared for.

Now, I am the FIRST person to chastise the generalization that college educated people have more intelligence than those who chose the work force...or vice versa...but, there is DEFINITELY a difference in the world outside of my "bubble".

I suppose because I am usually around these WONDERFUL creatures who seek to make a positive difference for future generations, it has escaped my attention that there is still a horrendous number of ignorant people in the world (or the world outside of school and work).

Perhaps I have just become spoiled?! Somehow I had fooled myself into believing that the world is full of people who are caring, intelligent, and open to new ideas. Unfortunately this is NOT what I have found to be true in the last week or two.

For instance...one trip to Wal-mart (a store I generally avoid like the plague) and I witnessed the following....

1.) An infant wearing nothing more than a diaper, chewing the (likely botulism infested) handle of a shopping cart.
2.) A woman talking on her cell phone and paying little attention to the fact that three of her children were running across the parking lot, narrowly missing being struck by passing cars.
3.) A man spitting chewing tobacco into a water fountain
4.) What looked to be a teenage mother threatening her screaming toddler with a beating if he didn't shut his "f*ing mouth".
                            and finally, the icing on the cake...
5.) A couple, looking to be in their twenties, groping each other like hormone crazed adolescents in the women's bathroom.

How did I miss that people like this exist???

But, by FAR, my most incredulous moment happened just today.

For the last two and a half years I have been giving therapy to a seven year old Autistic boy. He is my WHOLE heart and soul, and I love this child like he is mine. He is brilliant, and beautiful, and special in a way you can feel the moment you really look at him. However he is nonverbal, and "classically" Autistic.
So today at the end of therapy we decided to go to the grocery store. This is something his mother has been having a hard time with, so we decided to attack the problem at the source.

As we were walking around, "my" boy picked up an item he could not have and proceeded to throw a tantrum. Now, as I said, he is "classically" Autistic and this tantrums do not look like a spoiled brat trying to get his way. There is crying and screaming, but there is also hand-flapping and other Autistic tendencies.
So while his mother and I are calmly trying to handle this situation, a store employee comes over and asks us to quiet him down or to leave.
FIRST OF ALL...who ever heard of a grocery store kicking someone out because of a screaming kid????

Anyway, we told the man that our child has Autism and that we needed to handle this situation exactly where we were. This man, and I use that descriptor loosely, then began telling us that parents use the term Autism as a way to get out of disciplining their children....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I am OUTRAGED that there is still this level of ignorance in the world. Autism has become an issue which is HIGHLY publicized and NO ONE has the right to act as if it does not exist.
I did my best to calmly educate this man...rather than reacting in the way I wanted to, which would involved violently detaching the parts of him that make him a man...but he was having no part of it. He claimed that diagnosis such as Autism, Bipolar, and other mental illnesses are a way for parents to not have to take responsibility for their children.
In short, this man was one step below primate in his thinking.

Now that I am home, and have had time to process the afternoon I am even more outraged at this behavior. "My" child's mother was in tears by the time we left...and this is the kind of woman who can brighten a room just by walking in. She doesn't deserve this treatment...and neither does her son!

I have written an email to the manager of the store and suggested that he "educate" his employees, before I am forced to gather an army of Autism supporters and educate them for him....publicly...with posters...chants...possibly human chains in front of the doors! :P

I feel like this is a safe place to vent my frustrations (because no one here really knows me, or cares)...so here goes.

I should start with the fact that my father is an alcoholic. Quite frankly, he is a fall-down drunk who has lost his license and can barely carry on a "normal" conversation. I talk to him about once every week or two...because he is my father, and I do still care about him. When he found out that my mom was losing her job, he told my grandmother that he would help me financially and that he had some money put back.

Well, for the past two weeks I have been having some health problems. I went to the doctor this past Saturday and found out that I do indeed have a serious health issue; so I was told that my doctor was going to get in touch with a surgeon to talk about my options. I knew it would be Monday or Tuesday before I heard anything, but because of my mom's financial problems, I was worried about the prospects of surgery. I called my father on Sunday...to ask if he could help me pay, whatever he could afford, on my doctor's bills. He said he would do what he could, but wasn't sure if he would be able to do anything or not.
It's not that I think my father owes me anything, I am 24 years old, but he had made the offer to my grandmother and I was upset enough to ask for his help.

Flash forward to Wednesday, a mere 3 days later, and my father calls to ask if I plan on bringing anything to my grandmother's birthday party on Saturday. I tell him I am unsure whether I will be able to attend, because of my health problems. 
My father then proceeds to ask me "what health problems?". He had completely forgotten the conversation, and kept insisting I must have been talking to someone else. I stayed calm with him, and just ended the conversation as quickly as I could. I did not act like a brat (despite my urge to the contrary).

 So, perhaps I did not handle this in the most mature way possible...but I posted on facebook. The comment was an offhand joke about the need for testing before parents are allowed to procreate. I didn't mention what happened, or even specifically mention my father.
Last night my cousin posted a couple of VERY nasty comments on my page about how I should remember where I came from, people make mistakes, I shouldn't act like I am better than anyone else, at least I have parents who care about me...etc.

I probably should just let it go...but I am so offended. Not once did my cousin ask if I am ok...or act as if he even gave a shit that I was hurt. Normally I would brush this off...but we have my grandmother's birthday party on Saturday, and my cousin honestly does not have a filter which would tell him it would be inappropriate to mention our issues. I am so afraid that he is going to cause a scene, and that I am going to be unable to keep my cool.

Am I in the wrong here?

First of all, this is not the first time something like this happened. Second of all, my father didn't just forget because he is imperfect (as we all are)...he forgot because he was drunk, something which has hurt my family time and time again. In my mind I have every right to be upset about this. My cousin does not know how badly it hurts to have a father who can't even be bothered to remember when his daughter is possibly having a very risky surgery. This, to me, implies that perhaps I don't have two parents who care about me.

I really just need God to help me forgive.

And I really need for my family to stop acting like I am a horrible person every time I am hurt by my father.